Insomnia

It's called your own personal formula to life.
shardin:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

I reblog this everyday oops.

shardin:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!


this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

I reblog this everyday oops.

(via wh0ridian)

thelittlestgypsy:

highlyglamorous:

golden-eyes-:

that-marvel-obsessed-nico:

m-urrmaid:

phuckwhattheythink:

AN ACCURATE 2013 HOROSCOPE 
This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning …and it only gets worse from there. ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20) Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21) EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of badLuck if you do not forward.SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go outTo eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20) Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.






why the fuck do Capricorns get 24 years! i must….

just for the 16 years…

This just described my life (libra)

so accurate im scared??

Strangely accurate.

This is really accurate omg I’m a cancer and I’m only reblogging cuz I don’t want 12 years of badluck


So accurate, I’m scared (Sagittarius).

why is this so accurate???

I ain’t risking seven years

#teamvirgo

Pisces all the way

thelittlestgypsy:

highlyglamorous:

golden-eyes-:

that-marvel-obsessed-nico:

m-urrmaid:

phuckwhattheythink:

AN ACCURATE 2013 HOROSCOPE 


This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning …


and it only gets worse from there. 









ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20) 
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20) 
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. 

CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22) 
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22) 
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22) 
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22) 
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21) 
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad
Luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19) 
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20) 
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

why the fuck do Capricorns get 24 years! i must….

just for the 16 years…

This just described my life (libra)

so accurate im scared??

Strangely accurate.

This is really accurate omg I’m a cancer and I’m only reblogging cuz I don’t want 12 years of badluck

So accurate, I’m scared (Sagittarius).

why is this so accurate???

I ain’t risking seven years

#teamvirgo

Pisces all the way

(Source: joycechristine02, via gerasc0ph0biaa)

Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

This is honestly the stupidest fucking most oblivious shit I have ever read on tumblr. OKAY LET’S GET STARTED: 
1)    If I’m not fucking hungry why would I want a piece of the brownie? IF I were I would ask you for it. Why the fuck would I want to marry an idiot that doesn’t understand that I don’t want your shitty brownie. 
2) My humour is sick and twisted and it’s totally cool if you’re not going to laugh at Jewish babies in an oven (I would prefer if you did though). I don’t want my partner laughing at every thing I say, that’s fucking annoying. A mix of humour would be better in a marriage to keep shit exciting.
3) On a cold day I’d rather you fucked me to keep me warm. Not kiss my nose. 
4) I wanna watch tamil movies instead of Disney movies WTF BEST CLASSICS ARE WITH FUCKING RAJINIKANTH
5) First of all I’m fucking Canadian so I don’t even earn pounds. Does this mean I can only marry a British guy? And in dollars £5 is only $8.32. I can only afford a goat cheese panini from Williams with that. How the fuck are you going to even afford a wedding with $8.32????. My man/woman better fucking be in the 6 figure range $$$.
6) If I tell my husband every fucking thing than he’s going to know that I jack off to Scooby Doo porn and think of bestiality sometimes. I don’t think anyone will want to marry me after that.
7) Marry someone that isn’t afraid to hold my hand in public? What if they don’t have a fucking hand? Are you telling me I shouldn’t marry an amputee or a handicap person? Yo, disabled people are cool, you racist cunt.
8) I’m never going to be decorating a fucking cake. If my partner takes over while I’m EATING a cake, than I will divorce the fuck out of you for touching my food.
9)   If my man/woman were making $8.32/week than I would never want to spend a day in IKEA. I will be crying on every fucking thing in the store because I can’t afford anything.
10)    I’d rather marry someone who can buy me a coat instead of us having to share one like fucking hobos.
11)    No one is perfect and is able to accept your every fear and phobia. I would be happier if had a partner that helped me overcome the things I’m terrified of instead of just accepting it like a dick.
12)    BUTTERFLIES ARE BULLSHIT. If you get really comfortable with a person than you don’t get butterflies because that person actually becomes a part of you. Why the fuck would you get nervous being around yourself? (Unless you’re a schizophrenic)
13)    “Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for”. Okay this works out because I wax and am considering laser hair removal cool cool. LOL FUCK YOUR LOOPHOLES
14)    No fucking way you’re going to find someone that accepts you 24/7 even if you look like shit. This person doesn’t exist and you’re going to end up dying alone if you’re looking for this person. There will be days when you want to fucking rip off your partner’s dick and days you just want to make them pancakes. 
15)    If I say I fucking want 2 sugars in my tea and you put 3 than I will never marry you because your listening skills are shit. This nigga probably didn’t go to school and can’t count. If I had fucking diabetes and you put a shit load of sugar, I WOULD DIE.
16)    The person I marry better not let me eat my body weight in cookies. I will become an obese wife and that’s your fucking job to prevent it. Don’t trust a nigga that’s gonna kill you with cookies + 3 sugars in tea.
17)    “Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply.” I don’t even understand this one???
18)    I don’t think the $8.32 will cover for train rides very often unless we save up for a year. I’d rather we had a car and you weren’t a cheap nigga to make me wait with you in your jacket for a train.
19)    This is so obvious; it doesn’t even have to be said.  Obviously, you’d want to marry a person that leaves you alone sometimes. I wouldn’t want him/her to follow me to work and watch me while I’m taking a shit what the fuck.
20)    PLEASE, MY PARTNER IS MAKING $8.32/WEEK. MY PARENTS WILL NEVER GET ALONG WITH YOU. I hate family events so I will be uptight about it so you should too.
21)    I never get mad about stupid stuff. All the things I get mad about are relevant and valid. I’d rather you got angry with me than calm me down because I hate when people say “calm down,” go suck a dick if you do.
22)    Another obvious thing, why would I marry someone who would make me a shittier person than I already am.
23)    NOO, HOW ABOUT I MARRY SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME CRY?
24)     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^WHO I HATE?
25)    Fuck this shit. I’m getting an arranged marriage.

-phatcurry69 (via phatcurry69)

(Source: the-taintedtruth, via phatcurry69)

vagrantdream:

thegrumpiestwolf:

strawberrypantsu:

next time someone tells me im ‘too childish’ im just going to look them directly in the eyes and say v calmly ‘you are what you eat’ then walk away slowly maintaining eye contact the entire time

can i do that too if someone tells me i’m a dick

THANK YOU, TUMBLR, FOR PROVIDING ME WITH MY NEW DAILY GOAL

(via youhaveabrightsoul)